Day 141: The Quarrelsome Wife
Proverbs 21:9
Better to live on a corner of the roof than sharing a house with a quarrelsome wife.
Principle
Marriage is designed for completion, not for competition.
Some relationships are more adversarial than they are adaptable. It shouldn’t be that way. In fact, if the nature of a husband and wife relationship is quarrelsome, contentious, or filled with strife – that relationship is teetering to collapse.
The Bible speaks of a notorious woman and serves as the symbol of the worst kind of wife that a man can have – her name was Jezebel. Her name describes her as an unchaste, defiled, tarnished, or tacky woman. Jezebel means “without cohabitation.” So, even though she was married to Ahab, a weak man and Israel’s wicked king, Jezebel remained single-minded. She was a worthless whore who did evil in the eyes of God.
Unfortunately, some men find themselves in this kind of adversarial relationship. Some men are committed to Christ and are with the integrity of their heart pursuing the deep purposes of being a FivestarMan; however, in their own home, their wife is hindering and biting at everything that they’re working toward. They are unevenly yoked – he is carrying the entire load while she drags her feet. She won’t take his lead. In fact, she is striving against him and wants to lead him.
Our Advisor sums it up perfectly; it is better to have a small corner on the deck of the home than to be inside the house hearing her railing against everything.
Remember:
Some marriages lack cohabitation. Share on X
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So what’s the solution?. You don’t leave a lot of hope in this post. Guess I should just go find my corner and live with it?
Matt,
Our Advisor really doesn’t give much hope for this quarrelsome wife. Apparently, this one has hit home with you (no pun intended).
A few years ago, a very successful entrepreneur invited me to coffee to discuss this very issue in his marriage. He had already hired the attorney, hired investigators to check on his wife, etc. – it wasn’t looking good. I encouraged him to begin to cultivate his wife with the words that he speaks concerning and over her – treating his words as if they are seeds for a determined harvest. I challenged him to set the tone of the home with his own attitude and begin to date his wife. He delayed the divorce and began the “farming” his home and relationship. It worked. He recently told me that she has become the woman of his dreams. She had brought into the marriage some very difficult issues that he was able to dig out over time.
Now, I have other stories of men who simply weren’t able to see change. Some tried – some didn’t try. It’s sad but true – some marriages don’t survive this.
I do know that God is interested in helping you with it and will give you wisdom for your situation. I will be in agreement with you that you are able to get wisdom on the matter.
Neil